Confidently allow yourself to be poised,
and your words be graceful in every response you give.
[Colossians 4:6 | Paraphrased]
I have been looking through old pictures this evening, and this picture is a glimpse of my earlier years when I was in high school and way before I knew what “ooooh boyfriend” or “ooooh shopping with friends!” type of attitude.
I currently want to exclaim that I am the happiest I have ever been. 
  • Not because someone is treating me right.
  • Not because I just bought something really cute.
  • Not because I’m looking forward to something or reminiscing about some event.

I’m happy because I just am and it’s nice to know I’m “Misha” and I’m smiling.

In my past I have made myself become paralyzed by hopefulness, wonder, and what if. This year I decided to change my attitude of assuming what others think about me or of my past.
In the past I regretfully was…
  • Careless by my actions towards people – being aware and unaware.
  • Careless by my words which was said intentionally and unintentionally, or by words left unsaid when I knew I should have held my own.
  • Careless by involving myself into a situation where I had no right to be nosy about.
  • Careless by not being true to myself and/or having thick skin.
  • Careless by clinging to past memories and not learning to move on even if it has been months.

I slowly and continually still learn to be humble, to be kind and gracious in everything I do. I’ve learned by God’s grace to become more focused on His will than my own will. 

By trusting Him in my everyday life, I have become:
  • More caring and aware by my actions towards people.
  • More careful with my words which I have said, and when my words were silent: I know full well those quiet prayers under my breath becomes more significant of knowing I am not on my own, and He will hold me tightly.
  • More cautious on how I approach a situation.
  • More carefree to finally being myself and allowing laughter to heal the wounds.
  • Most importantly, meticulous on my own details of my worth. I am a gem and I do not deserve a fool who will treat me like I am reckless stone.

I finally accepted the freedom of being ME.
This makes me happy.

I am surrounded by a great supportive, strong Christian family who knows full well the foundation for gathering is to sing hymns and prayers for the Lord who is our truth. I am surrounded by wonderful, strong, amazing, and true friends who will say things like it is “out of love” and I cannot ask anything better than this. A motto my older brother always uses: “Life is Good” and it certainly has been.
In the end of the day knowing where you stand and who is standing beside you is a significant moment. A moment where you realize that happiness is not a destination, it’s just my attitude with life and who I choose to be a part of my life.

One thought on “self

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