pray fully + deeply

Photo by Me-
From His abundance we have all received
one gracious blessing after another.

|John 1:16|

Good evening!! One of my previous posts I have discussed a subject about self worth. I wanted to share a little more detail about me in the midst of what I have learned so far this year.
Firstly: reading, seeing and hearing my friends being heartbroken and wanting to ignore a pain they don’t want to revisit. Honestly, makes me reminisce during my moment of emotional fragility I had to endure. I was a mess when it happened to me. I never understood why.

I had mixed emotions of anger and doubt. Aftermath of it all I focused solely on being obedient to Jesus and understanding who I was as a person.

I have seen countless way my friends filling a void of being loved and accepted by replacing their emptiness with someone else, or drink their way out of the pain, or just separating themselves from their loved ones.

Seeing all that made me even more sad because it isn’t a way to fully heal wounds. I surrounded myself with God’s love and His word. I allowed pain to reveal itself and I definitely learned to be open about what truly hurt me. I prayed so deeply to understand my actions. My last relationship was filled with emotions, I wasn’t realistic nor did I put God as the foundation for it either.

[Please read posts “Collective Letters”]
intro || one || two || three || four || five || six || seven || eight

It took me so long to understand my worth. I remember moments of talking with guys and making a time to meet together and each one were “almost” dates. There were moments of them either cancelling due to family stuff going on, truck not working, or just not talking to me at all and they moved on.

I was so upset and angry about the outcome of each one. I soon became bitter and easily expected that every time I spoke to a guy he would just not follow through with the date… until one moment shortly before I moved a friend of mine who I desperately wanted to make something more than a friendship, but I knew deep down he was only a dear friend. A good man, really. We went to a few coffee outings and each time he did not cancel, we spoke about our families and our passions in life. I appreciated his time to hang out with me because it made me believe not all guys are going to flake.

[Please read “Chapter on Appreciation”
it’s about my friend who was so kind to me.]
intro || one || two || three ||  four

Secondly: I had a friend of mine vent to me about heartbreak and figuring out some solution to heal again and to feel loved again. I told them…

Are you sure this is truly healing for you? What you are wanting to do right now will not fill the void with how you are feeling right now. Please learn to let pain happen right now. It will be an ugly reaction, but that is the only way you can heal. Please don’t be reckless with your heart right now because you are aching. It won’t benefit you or the next person you are with in the long run.

Please focus on your faith towards God right now. Please pray so fully about the pain you are feeling. Pray so fully by understanding the tough love God is giving you right now. I know your heart is broken and you desire a love that will be calm and soothing. We all want love. It’s so beautiful. But you will never find the constant love because only God can give you that. Allow God to be in your heart and He will make you whole because He is the only One who can make love overflow abundantly and permanently.

Love is so beautiful! I am confident God will heal your wounds and, someday, He will have someone for you who will open new doors for you by understanding what genuine love is by knowing Jesus more intimately and more than you could ever imagine. They will awaken a love you have never imagined because it’s Christ’s love as the foundation.
Please allow your heart to break right now. Later, your weakness will make you strong and you be will be more than capable to love even more fully than you did before. God’s timing is so hard to understand right now, and I know your timing is different. He knows your desires and He knows what you need right now. Please continue to be obedient and focus on the Cross. Allow God to comfort your heart right now because God is aching for you to be in His arms right now because HE loves you!

In spite of our pain in life. God continues to give us one blessing after another. How rewarding is that? If you are feeling in pain whether it is from heartbreak, loss, self worth… God is there. He is always there. He loves you so much!

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